Skills Regression After ADHD/ Autism/ EDS Diagnosis: Why It Happens & How to Cope

"Why Do I Feel Like I'm Getting Worse After Diagnosis?"

Getting diagnosed with Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS), ADHD, or autism is supposed to be a moment of clarity—an explanation for lifelong struggles, a path toward better support. But for many, what follows is not relief but something unexpected: skills regression. Abilities that once felt natural or manageable suddenly start to decline, leaving us feeling lost, frustrated, and sometimes even fearful for our future.

If this is happening to you, know this: You are not alone, and you are not failing. Skills regression after diagnosis is incredibly common, and it’s actually a sign that your body and mind are adjusting to a new reality—one where survival mode is no longer the default. Let’s explore why this happens and how to navigate it with self-compassion.

What Does Skills Regression Look Like?

Many of us spent years—sometimes our entire lives—pushing through symptoms, masking difficulties, and adapting without even realizing it. But once we receive a diagnosis, something shifts. Suddenly, things we once managed start feeling impossible. Regression can look like:

Struggling with executive function in ways we used to handle (e.g., organizing, remembering tasks, staying on top of responsibilities).
Losing the ability to mask neurodivergent traits, making social interactions or daily tasks overwhelming.
Feeling more physically disabled—pain, fatigue, and sensory issues become more noticeable and harder to ignore.
Experiencing more emotional exhaustion from acknowledging lifelong struggles we previously suppressed.
Not being able to "push through" tasks the way we used to, leading to frustration and guilt.
Struggling with self-care or daily routines that once felt manageable.

This can be terrifying, especially if we’re afraid of what it means for our future. But there are real, science-backed reasons why this happens—and why it’s not a sign of failure.

Why Does Skills Regression Happen?

1. Awareness Changes Everything

Before diagnosis, many of us didn’t know we were different. We simply thought we had to try harder, be tougher, and “push through” things that were actually incredibly difficult for our brains and bodies. Diagnosis brings awareness, and with awareness comes the realization: I actually can’t do this the way others do.

This shift in perspective makes it harder to ignore struggles we used to suppress. It’s not that we’ve suddenly lost abilities—it’s that we are finally acknowledging our limits.

2. Burnout & the "Permission to Stop Pushing" Effect

Many neurodivergent and chronically ill people experience burnout for years without recognizing it. We push through exhaustion, pain, and overwhelm until our bodies and minds hit a breaking point.

Diagnosis often gives us permission to stop pushing—and when we do, the exhaustion and damage we’ve been suppressing come crashing down. The energy we used to force into keeping up appearances is no longer available, and we feel like we’re “losing” skills we once had.

3. Medical Trauma & Emotional Processing

Receiving a diagnosis—especially after years of medical gaslighting—can be deeply emotional. It may bring:

Grief for the years spent struggling without answers.
Anger at the lack of support we received.
Anxiety about what the future holds.

Processing these emotions takes mental and physical energy —it’s your body and brain working through trauma.

4. Sensory, Pain, and Autonomic Awareness Increases

Many of us spent years ignoring our own pain, fatigue, and discomfort because we had to. Once we recognize our diagnosis, we start listening to our bodies—and suddenly, we realize just how much we’ve been suppressing.

For those with conditions like EDS or related comorbidities—POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome) or MCAS (Mast Cell Activation Syndrome)—this shift can feel even more intense:

Pain and fatigue become more noticeable when we’re no longer in denial about them.
Sensory sensitivities we once masked become overwhelming because we’re finally acknowledging them.
Autonomic dysfunction symptoms (like dizziness, brain fog, or allergic-type reactions) may come into clearer focus after years of being misinterpreted or overlooked.

This isn’t a sign of getting worse—it’s a sign that we’re finally tuning into what our bodies have been trying to tell us all along.

How to Cope with Skills Regression

1. Shift Your Perspective: You’re Not Losing Skills, You’re Shedding Survival Mode

What feels like losing abilities is often just losing unhealthy coping mechanisms that were never sustainable in the first place. Instead of mourning what’s changing, recognize it as an opportunity to rebuild life in a way that actually works for you.

2. Prioritize Self-Compassion

You are not “failing.” You are adjusting to a new reality—one where your needs are valid. Be as kind to yourself as you would to a loved one going through the same thing.

Remind yourself: “I am not regressing. I am learning to exist in a way that doesn’t harm me.”
Let go of neurotypical and able-bodied expectations—your worth is not measured by productivity or how well you hide your struggles.
If you feel overwhelmed, remind yourself: You are allowed to rest. You are allowed to need help.

3. Seek Support—Even When It’s Hard

Asking for help or accommodations sounds simple—but when your struggles are invisible, it can feel impossible. Many of us have faced disbelief, blame, or pushback when we tried to advocate for ourselves.

If that’s your experience: you’re not weak, and you’re not alone.

When external support feels out of reach, focus on adapting your world in ways that don’t require permission:

Use assistive tools – Planners, alarms, Goblin.tools, Notion, or any tool that can help ease mental load.
Noise-canceling headphones can reduce overwhelm in sensory-heavy spaces.
Adjust your environment – soft lighting, pacing strategies, fidget tools—small shifts add up.
Find your people – Online communities can offer understanding when your offline world doesn’t.

And remember: just because others can’t see your struggle doesn’t mean it’s not real. You deserve support—even if you have to build it for yourself.

4. Honor Your Body’s Needs

Rest Without Guilt – Your body is healing. Let it.
Gentle Movement – EDS-friendly exercise, stretching, or even just mindful pacing can help regulate symptoms.
Nervous System Regulation – Deep breathing, vagus nerve stimulation, EFT tapping, or grounding exercises can reduce overwhelm.
Hydration & Nutrition – Small shifts, like staying well-hydrated, adding electrolytes (especially for those with POTS), or reducing inflammatory foods (helpful for MCAS), can support energy, pain levels, and cognitive clarity.

5. Give Yourself Time

Healing from years of burnout, masking, and pushing through pain doesn’t happen overnight. It’s okay if progress feels slow. You are not behind. You are just learning how to live in a way that supports, rather than drains, you.

Final Thoughts: You Are Not Broken

Skills regression after diagnosis is not a sign of failure—it’s a sign that you are finally listening to yourself. Your body and brain are adjusting to a new way of being, one where you are no longer forcing yourself into expectations that were never designed for you.

Instead of mourning lost skills, focus on what you are gaining: self-awareness, self-compassion, and a chance to build a life that truly works for you.

You are not broken. You are healing. And that is something to be proud of. 💙

Have You Experienced Skills Regression?

If this resonates with you, let’s start a conversation. What changes have you noticed since diagnosis? How are you learning to adapt? Drop a comment below and share your experience!